Fred Van Vactor

Happy Easter!

Frederick Van VactorComment


I'm not sure exactly why, but as a kid (after the age of six or so) I just kinda stopped liking Easter.  It's a flyover holiday.  If Easter were a state, it would be: South Dakota, or Nebraska, or Missouri, or whatever..  It's not a New York or L.A. holiday like: Christmas, Thanksgiving, or Halloween is!  Anyway, in order to change my attitude about it, I thought I'd start my own personal Easter tradition in order to celebrate and "spice up" the holiday. It all came about after I purchased a discounted Easter bunny costume a few years back. It goes like this..

Every year early Spring, I plan ahead and begin casing houses in rich fancy neighborhoods.  Then, when I find just the right one, I wait outside until the entire family leaves all dressed up to go to church.  Then, after I'm sure everyone has left, and the house is completely empty, and there's no dogs.  I promptly break in through the back window and quietly hide down in the basement until the family returns. Then, once they've safely returned and are finishing their Easter afternoon meal together.  That's when I jump out from the cellar door, dressed as the Easter bunny, wielding a machete yelling, "Surprise!" "Happy Easter!"   Boy, you should see the looks on their faces!


"Happy Easter everybody!"